Saturday, 27 October 2012

Champagne & Prawn Filter

by Dale Neill

I made this image on my iPhone at South Beach tonight. At first it didn't look all that good. Then I drank half a bottle of champagne and ate a dozen prawns and the image looked so much better.
You can get the new Champagne and Prawn Filters almost anywhere. They really improve your photography.

Saturday, 6 October 2012

A Little Old Lady named Shirl

by Dale Neill

Then, this apparition appeared in front of me with Dame Edna sunnies and a ukelele under her arm. I asked her name and she said, 'Im Jezebel' with a wicked smile.

'But your name badge says Shirley'

'That's me darling; Shirley Jezebel'

I tried to sniff if Miss Jezebel had been drinking but all I could smell was 1950's perm lotion (man repellant)

Whipping my my trusty iPhone out of my holster I flirted with Jeza

'Shirley, can I get a photo of you?

'That's not a real camera' she said

'And your not a real Jezebel.

You look more a Valentine'

I flicked my iPhone onto Camera+ tap tap tap (my fave app) and shot my hot little Jeza in all her glory (actually she told me she's a Dockers supporter so she can't be that dangerous). You never know she might just make my music calendar.

Drop in and see the fabulous Fremantle Portrait prize exhibition at the Moores Building in henry St Fremantle, open 10am-4pm daily 6-20 October. 696 images from 22 counties with 65 finalists on exhibit.

Oh, and if you want to know how to work the buttons and knobs on your new camera or my favourite apps for your mobile join me for a UWA Photography workshop.

Q: What's the difference between a ukulele and a chainsaw?
A: You can tune a chainsaw.

Thanks Shirley!!

Wednesday, 3 October 2012

Sharper than a Rat with a Gold Tooth

1/20 sec @f2.8
by Dale Neill

Recipe: Select one ripe Alex, preferably one with a good curvy shape, add a single red bustier, two black stockings and some late afternoon mood light and slow cook for two hours! 

Rule 453A in the Order of Ancient Photographers says you should never use a shutter speed slower than 1/60 sec. Fast forward to the digital era and a new interpretation is look at the focal length eg 400mm and put one over that number for your minimum shutter speed - that is 1/400 sec.

Your personal sharpness depends on how many razor blades you had with breakfast. But your image sharpness depends on a mob of things other than razor blades:

1/6 @ f4
  • focal length
  • shutter speed
  • your breathing
  • your heartbeat
  • how much you talk
  • your age
  • your liquor intake
In this image i shot my friend Alex in her MGB with her beloved cat Bronson after sunset outside Monart Art Gallery on 1/6 sec @ f4, handheld. Yep! 1/6 sec. 
No tripod! 
No monopod! 
Not even a friendly gastropod!

I know ..... you think I cheated by stopping my heart beating. Well not quite. Mind you, Alex is one lady who has stopped the hearts of one or two men. That's why I carry a defibrillator in my Lowepro bag.

So, if you want photographs that are sharper than a rat with a gold tooth here's my secret ingredient - I stopped talking (although most people I know would find that hard to believe) and i did stop breathing. Plus I used a 24 mm lens and that always helps.

Of course, if you really do want a truly boring, scintillatingly sharp photograph head off to the zoo and find yourself an animal with texture standing in direct sunlight and use a speed above 1/1000 sec. I hope I made my point here.

One more thing,  I watched Paul Newman in Cool Hand Luke the night before.