A Little Old Lady named Shirl

by Dale Neill

Q: How do you keep your violin from being stolen?
A: Put it in a ukulele case.It was hard day's night


I had just walked out of Moores Contemporary Fine Art Building in Freo, mind jangling from the rehearsal with the Mill point Quartet and aided by a long Mac made by handsome Tom in Moores on Moores.

Mill Point were rehearsing a piece theu had assembled to fit exactly an 8 min segment of vision of the top 125 entries in the Fremantle Portrait Prize

Then, this apparition appeared in front of me with Dame Edna sunnies and a ukelele under her arm. I asked her name and she said, 'Im Jezebel' with a wicked smile.

'But your name badge says Shirley'

'That's me darling; Shirley Jezebel'

I tried to sniff if Miss Jezebel had been drinking but all I could smell was 1950's perm lotion (man repellant)

Whipping my my trusty iPhone out of my holster I flirted with Jeza

'Shirley, can I get a photo of you?

'That's not a real camera' she said

'And your not a real Jezebel.

You look more a Valentine'


I flicked my iPhone onto Camera+ tap tap tap (my fave app) and shot my hot little Jeza in all her glory (actually she told me she's a Dockers supporter so she can't be that dangerous). You never know she might just make my music calendar.


Drop in and see the fabulous Fremantle Portrait prize exhibition at the Moores Building in henry St Fremantle, open 10am-4pm daily 6-20 October. 696 images from 22 counties with 65 finalists on exhibit.


Oh, and if you want to know how to work the buttons and knobs on your new camera or my favourite apps for your mobile join me for a UWA Photography workshop.


Q: What's the difference between a ukulele and a chainsaw?
A: You can tune a chainsaw.



Thanks Shirley!!